From the departments-are-like-points-on-whose-line department:
This was such a silly conversation that I had with Wartbag Smith (not his real name) that I had to share it with AZROLB. Names are changed to protect the innocent:
(20:20:38) NorMMonkeY: I had a cool idea today at lunch
(20:20:43) WartBag: do tell..
(20:20:56) NorMMonkeY: I went to Wendy’s and I brought back, like, 4 orders for cow orkers
(20:21:04) NorMMonkeY: So my idea is this:
(20:21:18) NorMMonkeY: an army of R/C helicopter delivery services
(20:21:27) WartBag: ooooh!
(20:21:29) WartBag: COOL!
(20:22:04) NorMMonkeY: You get a bunch of R/C heli pilots, outfit each heli with an RF videocam and the pilots fly it to the vendor, pick up the merch, and drop it at the buyer
(20:22:47) WartBag: Hmmmmm…. You’d probably need to have some sort of system to account for deadbeats who won’t pay.
(20:22:59) WartBag: Maybe cash first, then retrieve product.
(20:23:16) NorMMonkeY: I’m sure something can be arranged
(20:23:25) WartBag: Neat idea man.
(20:23:38) NorMMonkeY: Maybe you pay the R/C heli delivery guys, and they pay the vendor
(20:24:00) WartBag: I had an idea for what I think would be a really cool game last night.
(20:24:14) NorMMonkeY: (all this heli stuff ’cause I just got into R/C heli flying)
(20:24:23) WartBag: Ahh. ok
(20:25:14) WartBag: Imagine a game where you play an angel of death. Your objective is to get people killed. You have to do it by setting up situations that kill them and then be ready to collect and deliver their soul…
(20:25:34) NorMMonkeY: Ooh, neat!
(20:25:45) WartBag: or maybe you can possess them to get them killed, but have to vacate their body before they die, otherwise you die…
(20:26:02) NorMMonkeY: Kind of like pipe dream but instead of connecting pipe bits you’re setting up a death, and you have to do it before the goo in the pipe catches up
(20:26:13) WartBag: Hehehehe maybe
(20:26:24) WartBag: I was thinking more of a 3d environment game
(20:26:28) WartBag: a 1st person style.
(20:26:48) NorMMonkeY: Real-time?
(20:26:55) NorMMonkeY: Or turns-based?
(20:27:01) WartBag: I’d say real time./
(20:27:34) WartBag: I could envision it switchin from a 3rd person to 1st person too. Maybe 3rd person when you’re controlling the demon/angel/whatever, and it zooms/switches to a first person view when you’re possessing/controlling the victim.
(20:28:18) NorMMonkeY: I think it’d be fun if you had to set up their death in a race to do it so that the victim walks into it
(20:28:24) NorMMonkeY: Sierra style
(20:28:35) WartBag: Hehehe, like the pipes
(20:28:42) NorMMonkeY: Like Police Quest, only it’s DeathQuest
(20:28:48) WartBag: Ooooooooh
(20:28:53) NorMMonkeY: Ooh, that’d be an awesome metal band name
(20:28:59) WartBag: HAHAHA
(20:29:03) NorMMonkeY: DEATHQUEST!!!! *throws the goat*
(20:29:08) WartBag: ROFL
(20:29:16) NorMMonkeY: RAAAH!
(20:29:32) WartBag: that’d be their first album title, “Throws the Goat”
(20:29:48) NorMMonkeY: Only they’d throw an actual goat for the music video
(20:29:49) NorMMonkeY: d:)
(20:29:53) WartBag: hehehehe
(20:30:10) NorMMonkeY: So you start out in hell, and Satan gives you a mission
(20:30:28) NorMMonkeY: Then the intro scene plays out and you start the game on earth
(20:30:35) WartBag: hmmmmm
(20:30:36) NorMMonkeY: Say, in Las Vegas (sin city baby!)
(20:30:39) WartBag: hehe
(20:30:47) NorMMonkeY: You have levels
(20:30:54) WartBag: or missions
(20:31:14) NorMMonkeY: The first one is easy, like the victim is coming out of their room, and you have to break the elevator so they walk through an empty door and fall down the shaft and die
(20:31:28) NorMMonkeY: Ooh, text adventure!
(20:31:35) WartBag: HAHAHAH
(20:31:40) WartBag: walk east
(20:31:51) NorMMonkeY: pull elevator shearpin
(20:32:22) WartBag: “you are standing in front of the elevator door. there is a stairwell to the east, a hallway to your left. You notice a pair of pliers on the floor”
(20:32:25) NorMMonkeY: * The elevator shearpin will not budge * * The victim has left their room and they are locking the door *
(20:32:29) WartBag: HAHA
(20:32:56) WartBag: Hmmm… I’ve always thought it would be fun to write a text adventure web page.
(20:33:08) NorMMonkeY: Sometimes I do mini-text adventures on my blog
(20:33:10) WartBag: user data cold be stored in cookies
(20:33:40) WartBag: of course, people could hack their cookies to cheat, but what the hell? let ‘em cheat.
(20:33:57) NorMMonkeY: Could store it server-side in PHP
(20:34:17) WartBag: OoooH!!! Use a server scripting language like PHP and you can actually generate images with it based on the user’s settings.
(20:34:43) WartBag: If they haven’t picked up the pick-axe, draw it.
(20:34:45) WartBag: oops phone
(20:36:13) NorMMonkeY: * You are in the telco switch room. The victim’s phone rings. You have 20 seconds to wire the electrozapper onto their line before they answer *
(20:36:29) NorMMonkeY: Open toolkit
(20:36:49) NorMMonkeY: * In your toolkit you see a spool of wire, a 9V battery, and the ShockMaster 2000 XP *
(20:37:11) NorMMonkeY: Connect wire to phone switch
(20:37:24) NorMMonkeY: * You try to bite the wire with your teeth but it is thick and will not break *
(20:37:48) NorMMonkeY: check pockets
(20:38:04) NorMMonkeY: * You find a trusty MacGyver style swiss army knife in your pocket *
(20:38:06) NorMMonkeY: cut wire
(20:38:13) WartBag: HAHAHAHA
(20:38:22) WartBag: This is awesome!
(20:38:28) NorMMonkeY: * You have cut two pieces of 5 foot wire * * The victim is almost in the room with the phone *
(20:38:30) WartBag: damn! Now I want to write a text adventure!
(20:38:33) NorMMonkeY: shit
(20:38:40) NorMMonkeY: * Your pants are warmer *
(20:38:45) WartBag: hehehe
(20:38:53) NorMMonkeY: Connect wire to telco switch
(20:39:16) NorMMonkeY: * The wires are connected * * The victim’s hand is reaching for the handset *
(20:39:36) NorMMonkeY: Connect battery to ZapMaster 4k
(20:39:41) NorMMonkeY: Connect wires to ZapMaster
(20:40:02) NorMMonkeY: * The wires and battery are connected * * the victim answers the phone *
(20:40:30) NorMMonkeY: * The victim talks to his mother. You forgot to charge the flux capacitor! You have failed in your mission. Back to HELL!! *
(20:40:40) WartBag: ROFL
(20:40:48) WartBag: ahhhhhhh the flux capacitor.
(20:41:03) WartBag: where would modern sci-fi cheese be without the flux capacitor?
(20:41:11) NorMMonkeY: Darn tootin’
(20:44:18) NorMMonkeY: Hey, can I steal bits of this for pastin’ on my blog later? This is silly enough that it must be recorded for lack of prosperity. Names changed to protect the innocent, of course.
(20:44:34) WartBag: Please do
(20:44:38) WartBag: I’ll be famous!!!
(20:45:20) WartBag: or rather, “Wartbag Smith (not his real name)” will be famous.
(20:45:31) NorMMonkeY: AZROLB himself will mention you in his acceptance speech
(20:45:44) WartBag: AZROLB?
(20:45:54) NorMMonkeY: All Zero Readers Of this Lame Blog
(20:45:58) WartBag: Hahaha
(20:46:04) NorMMonkeY: A character that features in some of my blog entries.
(20:47:45) NorMMonkeY: “Sent by Lolita Lang on behalf of Sanchez 0nline Co11ege”
(20:48:04) WartBag: spam?
(20:48:09) NorMMonkeY: I granulated from Sanchez 0nl1ne!
(20:48:13) WartBag: ROFL
(20:48:17) NorMMonkeY: Yeah. Fake university spam
(20:48:28) WartBag: She didn’t major in English I take it.
(20:48:35) NorMMonkeY: She majored in obfuscation
Sanchez 0nline Co11ege sounds like a dirty place. I wonder if Lolita Lang is a graduate of Dirty Sanchez? She probably has a Vivid resume.